Valentine’s Day in Paris, France.Photo: Cornerstone
A study asked more than 3,000 people in seven countries about their love lives. The result: On average, women are more reluctant than men.
The three magic words “I love you” appear at some point in most relationships. Now confirmed international Abertey University study In Dundee, Ireland, women like to take their time.
As the study showed, it takes an average of 108 days for men to express their feelings. On the other hand, women wait another full 15 days to confess their love and it takes an average of 123 days in a relationship to pronounce their first “I love you”.
The study was conducted in seven countries: Great Britain, Poland, France, Australia, Chile, Colombia, and Brazil. In all but one of the countries it has been confirmed that men generally say the first thing I love you. The exception is France. Male recognition of the influence of love is most evident in Chile, Brazil and Poland.
Also interesting: Both genders don’t report their first “I love you” the same way. According to women, men often confess their love first. Men reported that this difference was less pronounced in the study.
Guys think of a love confession earlier
The study also looked at when both sexes first think about confessing their love. Here, too, the same picture emerges as in the Confessions. On average, men think of uttering the three most meaningful words for the first time less than 70 days later. For women, it takes about 77 days before they think about confessing their love.
On the other hand, women seem a little happier than men when their partner reveals their feelings to them. On a happiness scale from one to a hundred, women placed themselves at roughly an 89, while men barely reached an average of 87. How important such a subjective assessment is, especially with such a small difference, remains to be seen.
Bond types are crucial
In addition, the researchers wanted to analyze whether and how the personal way of leading the relationship had an impact on the analyzed parameters. Using a short questionnaire, study participants were divided into three different types of attachments: avoidant, secure, and anxious attachment types.
As the name suggests, the anxious attachment type tends to be more cautious. It usually takes longer to describe a relationship as secret, but the fear of losing is also greater. When a relationship anxiety type hears “I love you” for the first time, they are all the happier.
The opposite is the avoidance type of relationship. It takes less time to realize that the relationship is close and intimate. This type of attachment is more common in men than in women. The reaction to the partner’s first “I love you” song is usually less than cheerful.
Avoidant and fearful attachment types are grouped together under the general term of insecure attachment type. On the other hand, there is the secure or “normal” type of attachment.
Despite the same types of attachment, the sexes behave differently. Men who have some kind of insecure attachment, whether they’re fearful or slacker, tend to be quicker in declaring their love.
They tend to progress faster in relationships: Men with insecure attachment types.Photo: iStockphoto
In the case of the anxious attachment type, the fear of loss prevails and the man tries to strengthen the relationship by saying “I love you” and thus calming his fears.
On the other hand, a man with an avoidant attachment type expresses his love more quickly to escalate intimacy in the relationship. The reasons are different, and the result is the same.
In this case, the situation is different for women. A woman who has an anxious attachment type will take longer to express her love. According to the study, women tend to be more careful than men. The type of avoidant attachment in women did not appear to have a specific effect on the timing of love declarations.
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