March 2, 2024

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For five o’clock tea with the little lord – sport

After completing the preliminary round of major tournaments, it is an old custom in the sports press to divide players on the national team into winners and losers. SZ wanted to keep that good old tradition this time too, and they already had a really good idea: to pick all the participants in the Portugal game as winners and declare all the participants in the France game as losers. Participants in the Hungary game must be classified into the two categories according to serious criteria. That is the plan. Then, after hours of research, the sobering realization was: The employees in the three games were pretty much identical.

But SZ does not give up. After several hours of research, a new rating system has been developed that does justice to the changing impressions of the preliminary round. In light of the impending journey into the sacred halls of Wembley, the new hierarchical system is based on the image of British class society. The public display is arranged according to the minutes played, and the players who do not have bets remain unrated.

Manuel Neuer (played 270 minutes): What is Queen Elizabeth II of the House of Windsor into English, ie of the German King Manu I of the House of Gelsenkirchen-Boer. He has been wearing the crown of the best goalkeeper in the world for many years, and rival kings from smaller worlds such as Thibaut Courtois (Belgium), Hugo Lloris (France) or the rising Unai Simon (Spain) have not suspected. This, and recently Prince Charles of Barcelona, ​​Marc-Andre ter Stegen (already on sick leave from Hofmedicus) did not interrogate. However, doubts are being raised between the thankless and upset royal press: King Manu slipped off the crown in the Portugal goal to 2:4 when he hid behind the post in anticipation of a free kick. With a score of 2-1 for Hungary, the crown fell to the ground when it appeared late for the meeting with the opposing striker, contrary to the royal courtesy. Immediately the sinister royal press whispered that the king was aging. Old? Queen Elizabeth is 95, Neuer is only 35, and a few more years of wise rule can be expected from him. Tuesday at Wembley may be the time to end the conversation with a word of strength, and a triumphant return is always possible for this great man. For example, as a penalty shootout winner.

Toni Kroos (270): He plays for Los Blancos in Madrid and is considered the king of the scrolling game. However, he is now also referred to by critics as the King of Crossing. The official UEFA stats for him in this tournament: 314 passes played, 288 hits, which is a success rate of 92 percent. This looks like a man is in control of his country. But another statistical finding is that Kroos made seven tackles (in three 90-minute matches), scored no goal and did not assist. On the positive side, it can be said that he is a peaceful ruler who avoids combat. Crucially, it can be said that he avoids combat.

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The latter is not true this time: Kroos is fighting against the opponent and against his image. Still making a huge impact, against Hungary he was ready in case of need when it came or not in the last 20 minutes. However, his pace is still in question, and the careless handling of his badge (free kicks, corners) is also criticized. Even before the tournament, prominent critics called for his abdication, but for now he has triumphed again. During his visit to the UK on Tuesday, he will be the focus once again – the focus of the game and observation.

Antonio Rudiger (270): He traveled victoriously to the Tyrolean training camp: With Chelsea, he triumphed over the crown of European football. But so far he has not played as confidently as the representative of the high nobility. The big EM stage stimulates him, but sometimes it stimulates him too much. It is not always easy for him to profitably use his emotions. With the best will in the world, he couldn’t be called a preliminary round winner, but Jogi Löw is determined to maintain his place as a regular defender. Rüdiger at his home in London, he knows the opposing delegation from everyday life – the feature of the house. But he will have to prove that he is right to wear the European crown.

Joshua Kimmish (270): You do not want to subjugate the world but to rule it. He rushes towards the Middle Kingdom, if necessary from the right side. He supports his quest for power with authoritarian gestures and wild looks. He successfully fought against the impending loss of influence when he was moved to a remote location by Sir Jogi: he quickly subdued the new role and expanded step by step to the center of power. Sir Jogi paved his way back because he noted: It wouldn’t quite work without Kimmich in the Middle Kingdom. He may have to return to the counties against England, but he will continue to serve his team in all roles: as trustee, butler and worker. Kimmich’s value increased even more after this confusing preliminary round.

Matthias Ginter (259): The classic representative of the bourgeoisie. Straightforward, loyal and reliable. That was before the tournament and it still is. Not a particularly notable man, but facing Hungary, he sometimes remembered a caricature of the ruthless Englishman in a striped suit, who had accidentally kicked a bowling hat off a lady’s head with an umbrella before entering the red floors. In this game it looked a bit clumsy in the scenes. He was trustworthy in the first players to forgive a mistake.

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Mats Hummels (243): a self-proclaimed beauty king, but also a searchable sublime figure for the purpose of the story of a royal house by Rolf Silman-Egbert (ARD). Some already see him as a representative of a glamorous but bygone era, but he is fighting against it. The hostile royal press in the form of Bastian Schweinsteiger-Egbert (ARD) accused him of looking “woody”, but partially responded to public opinion. Sir Jogi brought him out of age-related exile, and one could still say: it was not a mistake. What he fears, however, is that the budding Briton with the name Grealish, Sterling, Foden, Saka, Rashford or Sancho might remind him of the era in which he came.

Robin Goossens (231): He comes from the working class of the Lower Rhine with Dutch relatives. He made his way to the left at an incredible pace, so high that after the Portugal match he suddenly held a golden trophy in his hand (the Star of the Match Trophy). Aristocrats and old citizens were quick to recognize him because of his winning nature. You have not visited Oxford, Cambridge or the youth training center in Hoffenheim, but the VfL Rhede Club. Raised on the second educational path. The loser in the Hungary match, but still the clear winner due to previous matches. Recognition will only be complete when Sir Goji knows him by his first name. Until now he has been called “Josens”.

Serge Gnabry (229): He played all three matches, because Rolf Selman-Egbert and the Connected Nation are amazed in front of the television. Ask yourself: Is this really the case? He has so far not been able to meet the high expectations at Sir Jogi’s Court except for the 30 minutes against Portugal, and is still considered indispensable – the other two princes Leroy Sane and Timo Werner in good shape.

Thomas Muller (203): He is destined to be a court jester, not because he is funny, but because he is the smartest and smartest in Valentine’s Day costume. He injured himself exceptionally in a scene that made people laugh. However, he also suffers from the disparity of team and system personality, but he has enough experience on the international scene to find his role anyway. Despite his foolish nature, he is someone who has long been part of the world aristocracy. The English fear him, and rightly so. used at Wembley.

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Ilkay Gundogan (221): With Manchester in the Champions League again only runner-up. He gives the impression that he is not happy to play the submissive spirit at Sir Goji’s court. It seems limited in its capabilities. He deals well with the king of the scrolling game (Cross), but the efficiency of their relationship is called into question, which is why Gundogan is now threatened with exile to the reservists.

Kai Havertz (214): The crown prince among the princes. At first he made his eyes wide when he met the French in the open field. While others have big eyes. Adapt to international protocol with amazing speed. According to his own statement, he measures his playing style against countable badges – goals and assists – and shoots them. It could be very important at Wembley.

Leroy Sane (108): Prince of the sad personality. It is difficult to classify them into hierarchical processes, the individualist who has so far failed because his highly respected art is gaining prominence. It was his chance against Hungary, he didn’t take it and now he has to wait for the next stage. But there remains a promise.

Leon Goretzka (49): The great citizen politician. He recommended it after his career, and perhaps even before, at least to the House of Commons, if not for Downing Street No. 10. The specialist press, and more recently, the “rainbow” press demanding his work in England, Sir Jogi reads the tabloids not, but it will certainly appear from their own. Goretzka is a loser in the preliminary round because he missed for a long time due to injury, but is a winner because it is no longer possible without him.

Timo Werner (39), Emre Kahn (30), Marcel Halstenberg (28), Niklas Sohley (17), Kevin Foland (11), Jamal Musiala (8): They make up the court and are indispensable on the one hand, and on the other hand they are no longer companions. The exception: Moses, the young lord. Without him there would be no trip to Wembley. Rolf Seelmann-Eggebert has already registered for five o’clock tea.

Joachim Low: According to Uefa 270 Minutes in Action, but there is a suspicion that he was not always there. Close to the English type of eccentric aristocrat. In Germany at the latest since 2014 in the nobility, at the latest since 2016, there have been popular demands for the abolition of the title. His introductory round did not let the calls fall silent. Wembley will show if he will still be called Sir Jogi or just Achim in the future.